In the Wake of Advocacy, A Stark Reality

After creating, sponsoring and hosting our two-day FREE virtual conference, Inclusive by Design advocating for inclusivity, my visit to a nail salon starkly contrasted my professional endeavors. It revealed the persistent biases and microaggressions I, as a Black woman, face even in mundane situations. This ironic twist of events underscored the complex reality of the principles I champion daily 🔄.

🌐The Incident: A Microcosm of Larger Issues

Seeking a tranquil day off, dressed simply in a hoodie to counter Florida’s chill, I entered the salon. My needs were straightforward – a pedicure and a gel manicure. However, what unfolded was a disheartening illustration of implicit bias and misunderstanding.

😣A Dialogue of Discomfort

After my pedicure, I became entangled in a prolonged, 10-minute conversation about my service request as I settled in for my manicure. Despite the language difference, I was willing to work through it with empathy. But the situation quickly escalated. Frustrated, I agreed to “settle” for a different service than the one originally requested. Yet, this, too, required me to re-explain my request. I showed a picture on my phone, only to be told the service was “too expensive” for me – an uninformed unwarranted, biased, potentially racist presumption that felt like a slap in the face.

🌬️Controlling Anger Amidst Bias

Taking a deep breath, I contained my anger and firmly told the technician that this wasn’t her call to make, and I found her response offensive and embarrassing.  I had shown no concern about the cost and that I wanted the service I requested. In response, I was directed to another technician. Yet, this move only led to the same frustrating and demeaning cycle repeating itself.

 👀The Weight of Scrutiny

I felt like every customer and employee’s gaze was on me. It felt like a piercing judgment, heightening my feelings of anger, frustration, and embarrassment. As the only Black woman in the salon, the isolation and scrutiny were overwhelming.

🚶‍♀️A Decision to Leave

Choosing not to accept this treatment, I chose to leave with my nails half-done, a visible testament to the biased atmosphere I had endured. My departure was a silent protest against the unfair treatment I experienced.

Upon settling my bill, I consciously over-tipped, countering any potential stereotypes. This wasn’t about service satisfaction; it was a deliberate act to defy the biases possibly ascribed to me. The question is, why was it on me to debunk something I wasn’t responsible for creating?

Why I Couldn’t Just Relax?

• The Weight of Stares 👁️👁️: The salon’s atmosphere changed as my request led to an extended, uncomfortable exchange. I felt the added pressure of each curious and judgmental gaze.

• Navigating Misunderstandings 🔄: My patience faded as I explained, then re-explained my request, ultimately showing a picture on my phone. The response was a jarring, prejudiced assumption.

• Controlling My Anger 🌊: In the face of microaggression, I kept my composure, aware of the stereotype of the “angry Black woman.” All the lessons, I teach my son specifically about control and avoiding situations with the law came flooding the for forefront of my mind. I don’t have the privilege of losing my temper.

• Echoes of Bias and Microaggressions 🗣️: Moving to a second chair did not alleviate the situation, as the biases and stereotypes distressingly replayed.

• The Irony of Reality vs. Advocacy 🎭: This experience, contrasting my recent advocacy work, highlighted the profound disconnect between professional ideals and their real-world application.

🌟A Journey for Change

What was meant to be a day of relaxation became a case study in the issues I address professionally. This encounter is a poignant reminder of the ongoing struggle for true inclusivity and the necessity of continued DEI advocacy and education. It’s a call to shed light on these significant encounters, leading to genuine understanding and change. My journey towards a world where I can confidently say “I can relax” continues, with the current answer being a resounding “no,” symbolizing the persistent work needed in our society.